Here's Something That AMG Should Do, But Mercedes-Benz Won't Allow

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 07/17/2017 at 19:26 • Filed to: None

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Take an S63 AMG Sedan:

Remove: AWD, sunroof, seats, driver assists (accept for stability control and traction control, but make them fully defeatable), leather everything, air suspension, most of the sound deadening, mufflers, wheels, infotainment and anything else that you don’t need.

Install: Fender flares, 4 sport bucket seats, manually adjustable Bilstein’s, torsen limited slip diff, high flow mufflers, ecu tune for more power, wider forged racing wheels, ultra grippy tires, large paddle shifters, mounts for harnesses, and helmet storage bins in the trunk.

Paint it red and call it the Red Pig edition. Make only a few and sell them for a high price

Fresh-Outta-Nissans > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/17/2017 at 19:33

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I was pretty concerned when you said throw out the wheels...

TheHondaBro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/17/2017 at 19:33

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I came up with an even better idea: take a mansion in Beverly Hills. Remove the pool, hot tub, kitchen/bathroom amenities, garage, bonus rooms, paint, flooring, and electrics. Install wire clothes line, manual clothes washer, campfire, shaggy tents, candles, and CRT televisions. Paint it bright green, name it the Zoidberg Inn and sell for a high price.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/17/2017 at 19:36

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I feel like it also needs some hella driving lights and some stickers to be a proper BRP. And I think I’d do it without the flares and pretentiousness. But that’s me.

TahoeSTi > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/17/2017 at 19:42

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Isn’t that what 3rd owners are for?

Audistein > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/17/2017 at 19:53

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Why not just do an E63S instead then? The S Class will always handle worse and even with that stuff removed it will still be heavy I’m sure.

Also you’d definitely need those fender flares for some very fat rear tires. The rear tires on the stock S63 definitely wouldn’t be able to handle that power on their own.

As for safety technology, every S Class has a “dyno mode” that completely defeats every assist including ABS. So I suppose you’d want that but keep the ABS while turning everything else off.

fintail > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/17/2017 at 21:34

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MB may not do it, but if one can afford a new S63, they should be able to afford to do this themselves :)

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/18/2017 at 01:25

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https://suchen.mobile.de/fahrzeuge/details.html?id=242088780&utm_source=sharedAd&utm_medium=android

RT > Audistein 07/18/2017 at 06:26

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Because heritage:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_300SEL_6.3

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_450SEL_6.9

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > TheHondaBro 07/18/2017 at 07:53

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But what about the chandeliers?

Mercedes Streeter > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/18/2017 at 08:48

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Build an AMG smart that would make doing a Hayabusa conversion seem like child’s play?